


Crazy is in the Eye of the Beholder

by RayneDom



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Artist Clarke, CEO, CEO Lexa (The 100), Eventual Romance, Eventual Sex, Eventual Smut, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Mental Health Issues, Schizophrenia, Smut, Spirits, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-26
Updated: 2018-04-19
Packaged: 2019-02-06 22:58:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12827910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RayneDom/pseuds/RayneDom
Summary: Lexa is a completely functioning schizophrenic. Except her schizophrenia isn't really what everyone thinks it is. She's gotten used to a life alone. But what happens when a blonde girl named Clarke flips her whole world upside down? And what will she think of Lexa's condition?Read warning inside.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> There is a major character death in this, but there is no angst involved in it. Please read despite it and I think you'll find it quite intriguing.  
> Also sorry for my readers of Breaking the Resolve, I had to get this story out before I could continue that one. Thank you for your patience!

Lexa was the type of woman who was meant to be at the top. She appeared stoic, cold, and career orientated to any outsiders. She focused on her goals and had no room for nonsense. She was the type of woman who could be the CEO of a production company. And she would be. If it wasn't for her competition and slimy coworker, Finn.

"Schizophrenia?" the founder of Grounder Productions inquired, as he stood in front of his desk. He was an intimidating individual, despite his old age, he stood tall at 6'5 with his arms crossed over his chest. Lexa had hopes that she too was able to stay fit even at that age.

"Yes, that's right sir. However, I have never let it affect my job. I take my medication as prescribed and it doesn't even affect me in the slightest. Besides the irritation of needing to take a horse sized pill every morning and night."

The founder gave a light grunt and an upturn of his lip at her attempt to lighten the mood. Lexa could only hope that Finn's mention of her "condition" wouldn't affect his decision for the position of CEO.

"Is that right, Alexandria?" Finn spoke up in that condescending tone of voice that gets on her last nerves.

"I don't go by that name. You may call me Lexa," she said in a voice that made it clear it wasn’t a suggestion as she glanced at him through the side of her eye. "And yes it is right." She sat with back straight and shoulders square, facing the founder's direction.

"Hmm... Well, I seem to remember an incident where an employee left the company due to your," he raised his fingers in the air to quote the next word, " _controlled_ illness."

Lexa's eyes widened and she actually turned to face him this time, mouth agape.

"T-that was five years ago! And it was an unpaid intern, not an employee, who walked in the bathroom when I was in the middle of an atypical fit!" She raised her voice only slightly, but otherwise kept her anger under control. "They didn't leave the company because of me, they left because their internship was up. And I've since changed medicine, so it's not an issue anymore."

The founder uncrossed his arms and held them up in a disarming fashion.

"Okay, okay, ladies and gents, let's not forget that you all are professionals, not bickering children.” Lexa was horrified. It was Finn who was being childish bringing that up in what was supposed to be a professional setting. “Anyways, that's all the time I require from you both, I have a meeting to get to. Thank you for taking the time to have this interview with me. You two may have the rest of the day off, I know how much you both had to prepare for the interview."

Lexa's jaw was clenched so tight, it started throbbing with pain. If you looked up the definition of professional, Lexa's picture would almost certainly be plastered beside it. And yet she raised her voice because of this prick who knew how to perfectly test her nerves. She stood up from her seat and shook the founder's hand with a firm grip.

"Thank you sir for your time and consideration."

He shook her hand and nodded back in response.

Finn then walked up to him and took his hand to shake it.

“It was a pleasure seeing you again, sir. Would you tell Jasper I said hello?”

Of course he would bring up his relationship with the founder’s son. He only knew him through coincidence, as they grew up on the same street. That doesn’t stop Finn from mentioning how he’s ‘close’ to the founder any chance he got. Meanwhile, Lexa got where she was by hard work and sheer determination.

“I will, thanks.” the founder said politely.

Lexa took that as her cue to leave. She tried not to look like she was storming out of the office. As she passed glass cubicles, she could see curious eyes follow her. However, when she made eye contact they were quickly averted. Never minding them, Lexa continued her proud stride to the elevator, a familiar figure clinging close by.

As the elevator doors closed, a voice spoke up.

“What a douchebag.”

Oh, by the way, that’s Raven.

Lexa coughed and covered her mouth to hide her next quiet words, “Not here.”

She shot a quick glance up to the cameras in the corner of the elevator and Raven’s brown eyes followed.

“Oh, right. I’ll behave.”

The doors opened up to the quiet lobby and Lexa headed out with a quick stride.

“Can I talk now?” Raven asked.

Lexa both nodded at the front desk clerk and to Raven with double meaning.

“How come you let him talk to you like that?” she asked, frustration evident.

Lexa put her headset in her right ear, which was low tech but very obvious and therefore was perfect for serving its purpose. She was now able to talk freely.

“There was nothing I could do. The more I freak out, the more I prove I’m insane like they all think I am.” Lexa said matter-of-factly.

“But you’re not! They... they just don’t get it. It’s not like you choose this, and it’s not like you’re actually crazy.”

Lexa just huffed and stayed silent.

Well, that much was true. Lexa wasn’t crazy by any means. She did have schizophrenia, but not the kind that the doctors diagnosed her with. She believes there are two types of schizophrenia, the mental kind and the spiritual kind. Lexa had the latter. Raven, who seemed as clear as day to her, can’t be seen by anyone else, besides other people with the spiritual schizophrenia. She passed away 7 years ago.

Ghosts, spirits, souls, whatever you want to call them, are different than most people think. Raven wasn’t see through, she can’t walk through anything, she can’t pick things up or anything of that sort. She also has no memory of her previous life, besides the car accident which killed her. Thankfully after the first few months, she got used to her state of being and now she no longer feels sad about something which she can’t have back. She looks at it as a second chance.

There is one thing that took Lexa, a proud loner, a long time to get used to. Raven is attached to her. She never goes away, besides when Lexa takes her medicine. She tried that once and she’ll never admit it to the girl, but it was a loneliness she didn’t want to feel again. So, despite her lie to the founder, she doesn’t take them. Other than that, Raven doesn’t seem to be able to go more than 15 feet from her. Raven does give her privacy though, in the shower, and when she needs ‘private’ moments, which she doesn’t like to have very often.

Lexa wasn’t so imaginative as to believe that she was some sort of ghost whisperer. She can only see Raven and the spirits attached to other schizophrenics (she found out that she wasn’t the only spiritual schizophrenic after being institutionalized).  She feels pity for some of them, like the homeless she’s seen downtown. Some of them are stuck with spirits that they hate and are often having a yelling and cussing match with them. That’s enough to drive a person actually crazy.

Lexa was lucky in that aspect. Raven and her get along pretty well, she tends to say some crude things that isn’t quite like Lexa’s nature, but she’s accepted that as a part of her.  Raven appeared to her a few months after her first (and only) love’s death. Her name was Costia. She also died in a car accident. Lexa’s often wondered if that was why Raven got attached to her.

“Yo, Lex, did you mean to walk like half a mile from your bus stop?” she asked rhetorically, with laughter in her voice.

Lexa stopped in her tracks, looked around, and sighed. She had apparently been lost in her thoughts for too long.

“You couldn’t have told me sooner?” She turned to her left to give the caramel skinned girl a glare.

She just smirked at her back in return.

Lexa sighed once again. “Fine, I’m hungry anyways.” She glanced around to nearby restaurants and fast food places, then her eyes stopped on this humble little mom and pop type restaurant. “Is there okay?” She nodded to the place.

Raven laughed. “I mean, sure. It’s not like I’ll be eating the food anyways.”

Lexa rolled her eyes, that’s what she gets for trying to be polite, and walked across the street to the restaurant.

When she walked in, she took a quick survey of the surroundings. It was a nice and clean little place. Each booth seemed private enough and there was plenty of natural light coming in from the window. There was no hostess, but a waitress in a frilly blue uniform was going around with a notepad. There were only about 4 people in there, a older couple, a middle age man reading a newspaper at the counter, and a girl in the corner booth. She took the booth closest to the door and sat down. Raven sat down across from her.

The waitress took notice of her and quickly headed over. She took a menu out of her uniform pocket and set it down on the table in front of Lexa. Raven gave the girl a playfully offended look.

“First time here?” she asked with a southern accent.

Lexa glanced up at her, she was young, probably in her early twenties, a redhead, and could be considered attractive. The impassive woman cleared her throat.

“Yes. It is. Any recommendations?”

The waitress beamed at her and nodded.

“Why, yes. Our pecan pie is to die for. I highly recommend it if you have a sweet tooth.”

Lexa turned back to her menu.

“I’m allergic to nuts.” she replied in a flat voice.

The waitress seemed embarrassed.

“Oh, um, we have plenty of other pies too.” She tried to recover.

Raven was glaring at her from across the table.

“Lexa, you’re being rude.”

Lexa shot a glance at her across the table before readjusting her unintentional attitude.

“Actually, I’ll just have the avocado lettuce tomato sandwich.”

The waitress quickly scribbled it on her pad.

“Alright, the ALT coming right up, anything to drink?”

“Just a water, thanks.”

The waitress took the menu back and left towards the kitchen.

“So… that waitress was pretty cute.” Raven said with a smirk on her face. Another thing about Raven being her ‘chosen spirit’ or whatever, was that she was bisexual. That was either good or bad depending on what mood she was in.

“Was she?” Lexa shot back, uninterested.

“Oh, come on, how long has it been since you’ve had a date?” Raven leaned back in the booth, crossed her arms, and lifted an eyebrow at her.

Her green eyes narrowed. “You know the answer to that.” The waitress came back to the table with her water and set it down. She glanced up at her, “Thank you.”

After seeing her scrunched up eyebrows, which Lexa was very used to by now, she turned her head and lightly tapped the headset in her ear. The waitress’ look cleared up and she gave her a nod of understanding. As she walked away, Lexa took a sip of her drink.

“Even more than that, when’s the last time you even had sex with someone other than yourself?”

Lexa coughed and choked on the water she had been attempting to swallow, earning another look from the waitress. After she cleared the tears from her eyes and could speak again she said, “Asshole.”

Raven just laughed.

When Lexa went to look up at her, she noticed something over her shoulder. A head of blond hair. The girl was facing towards her so she should be able to see her face, but she was looking down so her hair shrouded her face. Lexa continued looking at her, curiosity piqued, wondering what she was doing when the girl swiped her hair behind her ear. And God, was she beautiful.

Lexa could only see her from the collarbone up, but that didn’t change anything. She had a look of concentration, and her right shoulder was moving erratically. But her facial features were just so perfect. Lexa didn’t believe in much of a higher power, since she had a spirit attached to her and what not. But this girl. She had to be crafted by the angels themselves.

“What’re you looking at?” Raven started to turn around.

“Don’t look!” she said in a hushed but urgent whisper.

Raven laughed lightly. “Relax. It’s not like anyone can see me.” She turned around and saw _exactly_ what Lexa was looking at. Her smirk threatened to take over her face. “Ohh, I get it. The waitress wasn’t your type, but this girl. Wow. You’ve got good taste.”

Lexa gained a reddish tint to her cheeks.

“Shhh.” she urged. Even though no one could hear Raven, she wanted her to be quiet.

Lexa continued admiring the girl from afar. And Raven turned back around and slid down smirking at her. She would never live this down. But she paid no mind for now. The look of pure concentration spread across those beautiful features was too much of a magnet for her. Suddenly, an eyebrow raised up and a smirk came over the mysterious blonde’s face. Lexa wondered if that was a strange quirk of the girl to do that while… writing? Or drawing, or whatever she was doing.

The girl’s shoulder slowly stopped moving while she kept that expression on her face. Then suddenly the girl’s eyes shot up and stared directly into hers, though Lexa felt like they pierced right through her heart. That smirk of the girl’s grew even wider and Lexa tore her eyes from the crystal blue ones. Her heart was pounding.

She felt so creepy being caught staring like that. Instead, her green eyes became glued to the tabletop as heat rose to her cheeks rapidly.

“What the hell are you doing?” Raven asked, not having caught the little interaction.

“She saw me,” she replied in a hushed and mortified tone. “Damn it, she saw me.”

Raven turned back around to see if the girl was still looking, but found no one in the booth.

“Um, where’d she go?”

Emerald eyes quickly looked up and sure enough the girl wasn’t there anymore.

“But she was jus-”

“Hi.” a voice like liquid sensuality said nearby.

Lexa’s eyes widened and quickly looked over to the girl standing next to the booth. If she thought she was beautiful before, that was nothing compared to seeing her entire form. This girl had an amazing figure that was shown off in her tight grey long sleeve shirt and form fitting jeans. Lexa just stared dimly.

“Is this seat taken?” the girl asked, pointing the side across from Lexa.

“Yes.” Raven spoke up.

“No.” Lexa said, despite her spirit’s irritation. Raven glared, but scooted as close to the wall as she could get.

“Only doing this ‘cause she’s hot and you really need to get laid.” Raven grumbled, causing Lexa to blush.

The girl sat down and placed her, what looked to be, sketch book on the table. So that’s what it was, she was drawing. Lexa just stared for a while incredulously.

“Sheesh, you useless lesbian, introduce yourself!”

“Oh. Hello, my name is Lexa.” She pushed her hand out to the girl for her to shake.

Raven facepalmed.

The girl just giggled and shook it lightly.

“Hi Lexa, my name is Clarke.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! Thank you guys for your overwhelming support I honestly didn't think this story would get many hits or comments but it did so here's another chapter! thank you for all your sweet comments!

Electricity shot through Lexa’s hand at the brief contact. Immediately, Lexa chastised herself for acting like a lovesick puppy. That wasn’t her. She had been out of the dating scene for so long and had absolutely no interest in a relationship. So, in response, Lexa put up her walls, not slow like an overworked construction crew would, but quickly like there was a deadline to meet. She averted her eyes from Clarke’s piercing blue ones.

“Just for your information, I wasn’t staring or anything,” Lexa started colorlessly. Raven outright laughed at this. Even Clarke raised an eyebrow in disbelief, a knowing smirk plastered on her face. “I was just curious what you were doing.”

“Mhmm.” Clarke replied, not believing a word.

“You are such a terrible liar, Lex.” Raven said, chuckling. Lexa gave her a pointed stare and Raven wordlessly replied with a zipping motion across her lips. Lexa didn’t want this girl to think she was crazy. Not that she was ever going to see her again, of course.

Ignoring them both and desperately wanting to avoid the subject, Lexa continued, “You looked so concentrated, I just wondered what you were doing.” She glanced down at the sketchbook. “Now I see that you were doodling.”

Clarke let out a hearty laugh at that. Lexa scrunched her eyebrows in confusion for two reasons. First, she didn’t understand what the blonde girl found so humorous and secondly, she couldn’t comprehend the light fluttering of her heart in response to the sweet sound of her laughter.

Once her short fit of laughter faded seamlessly into a smile, Clarke explained, “Well, I’m actually an artist. I paint and draw things for a living.” She grabbed her sketchbook and lifted it up by the corner, giving it a light shake. “So, when I ‘doodle’, it’s actually me working. Not really a pastime, you know?”

Raven broke her very short vow of silence by bursting into laughter. “You really don’t even need my help to mess this up, do you?”

Lexa narrowed her eyes at Raven for a short second before looking back at Clarke. Her face felt warm in embarrassment. Clarke sat her sketchbook back down on the table.

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t know.” she half-heartedly apologized. What kind of career was drawing? It’s very unstable and an unreliable source of income.

“No issue,” Clarke waved her off apology, smiling. She then leaned forward, forearms horizontal and flat on the table. Her breasts pushed against the end of the table and her cleavage was magnificently put on display. “What do you do for a living?”

Green eyes were powerless to the sheer magnetic force of the sight. Lexa had a quick imaginative flash of burying her face in that delectable soft flesh. Her cheeks flushed bright red as she realized what happened and her eyes shot up to the ceiling in an attempt to calm herself. She then slowly brought her eyes back to Clarke who was smirking like she could read her mind. Lexa didn’t dare glance at Raven. How long had she even been looking anyway? Had it really been that long since she last got laid?

“Um,” Lexa started off, before clearing her throat. She was a professional with no time for mincing words. With a clear and precise tone she said, “I work for a production company.”

Clarke’s blue eyes lit up.

“Which one?”

At that point, the waitress came back with a plate with her ALT sandwich in one hand and the glass of water in the other. She placed the plate done in front of Lexa and the glass next to it. Lexa was surprised to see that instead of just bringing her drink, they brought her food along with it.

“Thank you.”

The redheaded waitress smiled politely at her then glanced at Clarke and her smile grew. Clarke returned the smile and did a come hither motion with her finger. The waitress complied and walked over to her where she leaned down, then Clarke whispered something into her ear. Lexa felt an unmerited pang of jealousy for that simple act. She couldn’t explain why, Clarke was just this random girl who owed nothing to her. The waitress nodded in response to whatever she said.

“Thanks, Leslie.” Clarke called after her. She just replied by waving a hand as she walked away.

“Grounder Productions.” Lexa stated proudly after remembering the question. They were a very famous production company, responsible for many box office hits. Clarke seemed confused on what she meant, the attention having been averted from their previous conversation. “The production company.” Lexa clarified.

Lexa watched as a mental lightbulb went off in the blonde’s head. She took that moment to take a bite of her well-deserved sandwich. Damn, it was good too. The other girl still looked like she was thinking about it. That was surprising, most people got starstruck hearing where she worked. Grounder Productions was _that_ famous.

“Hmm,” she said, looking upwards pensively. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of them.”

Lexa stopped mid-chew and looked at her incredulously.

Raven laughed. “Man, I like this chick.”

Lexa shot a glare towards Raven. She wasn’t even trying to hold back her comments. However, she realized she made a mistake looking at her when blue eyes flitted over to her left curiously.

“What do you keep looking at?”

Lexa swallowed her food in a big lump. “Nothing. Sorry, I was just lost in my thoughts,” she lied hurriedly. Before Clarke could make any more of it she continued their previous topic. “You’ve really never heard of Grounder Productions?”

“Nope.” Clarke smiled at her in a way that may have been patronizing if she wasn’t so damn beautiful.

“Hm. Okay.” Lexa stated, continuing to eat her food.

Clarke ripped off a small corner of paper from inside of her sketchbook. She took her pencil and scribbled something quickly on it. She covered it with the palm of her hand flat on the table, then looked up at Lexa with that ever present smile on her face.

“Well. I have some ‘doodling’ to do. It was nice talking to you, _Lexa_.” The name was said similarly to the professional way Lexa had said it, but somehow she made the two syllables sound so fluid and, well, sexy.

She got up from the booth, not letting her hand concealing the paper leave the table. It was slid across the table to Lexa before being lifted, revealing the small piece of paper. Her sketchbook and pencil were quickly grabbed before she strode out of there.

Lexa looked down in confusion at the paper. Her eyes widened when she saw what it was. Raven scooted back to her original spot and tried leaning over to see what was written on the scrap of paper. When she saw what it was she whistled.

“Wow, she must really think you’re hot. ‘Cause that was one train wreck of a conversation,” Raven needlessly added.

The paper said,

**Call me**

**555-965-3957**

**-Clarke**

Lexa was dumbfounded. She hadn’t even thought the girl was into her gender, let alone into her specifically. The paper really should’ve combusted under the heat of her stare. It was as if she just knew this paper was a figment of her imagination and only the weight of her gaze held it into reality.

Not hearing her approach, Lexa was slightly startled when the waitress, Leslie, was staring by her table with a cup of coffee. She placed in down in front of the stunned girl. It looked to be a latte of some sort, and the cream at the top had been pulled back into a heart.

“Um, I didn’t order this.”

Leslie smiled knowingly. “I know.” Lexa frowned in confusion. “Don’t worry, it’s paid for.”

Why would this waitress give her a coffee with a heart drawn in it? She only came up with one conclusion and made her face stern.

“I’m sorry, I’m not-” _interested_. That is what she was going to say, but she was interrupted by a held up hand.

“Not from me,” she said, mirth in her southern tone. “Clarke.”

Lexa was even more confused than she was before when thought it was the wrong order.

“It’s not my place to say so. But Clarke is one of our regular customers and she’s a great girl.” She nodded to the neatly written number on the paper. “If you don’t call her, you’re an idiot, frankly.”

That’s all she said before she briskly walked away to help the new customers that just walked in. Lexa was taken aback by the boldness of the waitress.

“She’s right, you know. That girl is definitely your type.” Raven spoke up, smirking at her and crossing her arms, daring her to argue it.

And so she did, “My type died 7 years ago.”

Raven rolled her eyes. “Look, I’m not saying you have to date her. But get to know her. At the very least you might get laid. And with the way you were looking at her boobs, you definitely wouldn’t mind that.”

Lexa huffed and took another bite of her sandwich. Maybe she would text her. Lexa could definitely use a friend in her life. She only had one, a girl named Anya who also grew up in the foster system. They had ended up at the same group home together as teenagers and bonded from there on.

Lexa quickly finished up her sandwich, stuffed the number in her pocket, left a bill on the table that was more than double her check, and headed out. She didn’t pass the bus stop this time, even though she was lost in her thoughts yet again, this time for a much more positive reason. Raven had gone ‘silent’ as Lexa likes to call it. This happens from time to time. Raven will go silent, meaning that she is still following Lexa, but is kind of like a zombie. Following her as if her feet have no choice, she is unresponsive and nonverbal. After it happens, Raven always has memory loss, she doesn’t know what occurs during that time and neither of them like to dwell on it too long.

After arriving home, Lexa takes off her blazer while walking and folds it over the high top chair she has sitting at her breakfast bar. She lives in a two bedroom apartment, one of which is a guest room. Her apartment is way beyond most people’s financial availability. Especially in a big and therefore expensive city like Los Angeles. It was a modern style apartment with barely a speck of dust even on the high ceiling fixtures.

She sat down on the couch and pulled out her phone. She glanced over at Raven, wanting advice, but she was still silent. Sighing, she opens a new message, typing out the number from the piece of paper. Not knowing how to start the conversation, she went with formal as it was her usual default.

**Lexa (3:07pm):**

**Hello. It’s Lexa. You gave me your number earlier today at the dinner.**

After sending the message, she stared at the screen for a bit. She hadn’t expected her to reply immediately, but the waiting made her stomach feel like it was doing somersaults. So, instead of sitting anxiously, she got her laptop from the breakfast bar counter and brought it to the couch. She couldn’t help herself from glancing at the phone sitting on the glass top coffee table to see if she had a new message. There wasn’t one, not that she should worry. It had been less than ten minutes. But maybe she didn’t have signal right there. Possibly. It happens in some parts of her apartment.

Lexa set aside her laptop and picked up her phone. It had four bars. Texts should be getting through. Maybe she had mistyped the phone number? That’s possible. Lexa went to grab the sheet of paper when her phone started vibrating in her hand (career-oriented individuals always have their phone on vibrate), startling her so much that she almost dropped it. When she looked at her screen it simply said;

**Incoming call**

**Unknown**

**555-965-3957**

Lexa didn’t memorize the other girl’s number or anything, but she was pretty sure that was Clarke’s number. A mild panic began to wash over her as she stared at her phone. She should definitely pick up, but Lexa wasn’t good at personal phone calls. Or phone calls in general. She was okay with business calls because formal was comfortable, formal was easy. This was way out of her comfort zone. Not wanting to miss the opportunity however, she swiped to pick up the call. She took a deep breath as she brought the device to her ear.

“Hello?” she answered in as steady of a tone as she could manage.

 _“Hey!”_ Clarke’s voice called out, sounding distant. It was possible that she was on speakerphone.

“You called me.” Lexa stated, too stunned to form it into a question.

 _“Yeah, sorry. Is this okay?”_ There was some rustling around. _“It’s just that my hands are wet, and I didn’t want to get my phone all sticky texting you.”_

A misplaced shock went from Lexa’s ear straight between her legs. Lexa scolded herself mentally. There was no way she meant it like that.

 _“Oh god!”_ Clarke laughed. _“That totally came out wrong. I’m sorry,”_ she said, recognizing Lexa’s silence after her words. She clarified, _“I’m_ painting, _nothing dirty.”_

The quieter girl blushed uncharacteristically, “It’s okay. I wasn’t thinking anything like that.” That was an outright lie and if Raven wasn’t silent she’d call her on it.

_“Okay, cool.”_

“Why did you buy coffee for me?” Lexa asked suddenly.

Clarke just laughed, then there was more rustling before she responded.

_“You looked tired, or sad. But I figured if your bad mood was because you were tired, then coffee would help.”_

“Coffee doesn’t help with sadness, though.” stated Lexa matter-of-factly, pointing out the obvious flaw in the logic.

Giggles erupted over the line. Clarke sounded proud when she said, _“Yep. That’s what I came over to help with.”_

Lexa walked right into that flirtatious set up. She smiled, genuinely, for the first time in too long.

 _“Oh, by the way, Grounder Productions is actually a thing. It’s pretty popular too.”_ Clarke mentioned off-handedly, as if it was a little fun fact that Lexa wasn’t aware of.

“Yes?” she replied, not understanding. Then it hit her. “You thought I made it up?”

 _“I mean, kind of. You were pretty sketchy about the whole thing.”_ Lexa scoffed. _“Plus, what kind of business woman hangs out at a diner at 1pm?”_

Lexa lifted the phone from her ear and stared at it incredulously, as if it had personally done something to offend her.

She put it back to her ear to reply, “I was let out early after an interview for a promo-” She stopped herself before firing back defensively, “Why did you even give me your number if you thought I was lying?”

Laughter tickled her ears. _“Not sure. You’re interesting. Your eyes hold a lot of stories in them.”_

“Put her on speaker,” Raven suddenly said, causing Lexa to jump. Raven was now leaning over the back of the couch. She apparently was back to normal. “Wanna hear what you guys are talking about.”

Lexa glanced at her, before pressing the speaker button.

 _“Hey, listen,”_ Clarke started. _“There’s an art exhibition downtown and my work is being displayed. I know this is sudden, but I wanted to invite you.”_

Lexa was speechless. Did she want to see the beautiful blonde again? After what a mess she was last time? Besides, she wasn’t up for a relationship right now. She really should decline.

“Lexa! I swear to God if you don’t say yes, I will spend the rest of forever attempting to kick your ass.” Raven was quick to chastise her.

 _“It doesn’t have to mean anything. I mean you can come just as my friend.”_ She gave a small breath of laughter before saying, _“Hell, you can even go as a stranger that just was passing by.”_

“Yes.” Lexa said the second the other girl finished talking, surprising herself, Raven, and probably Clarke as well.

 _“Okay, awesome.”_ Lexa could hear the smile on her face. _“I should go so I can concentrate on this. It’s supposed to be on display tomorrow. And I’m sure you have important business woman stuff to do.”_

Lexa frowned. Finishing a project the day before it was supposed to be on display? It just didn’t make sense to her. Where was the time for the editing, revision, and reviews?

Hearing nothing but silence from the other end, Clarke uttered a simple, _“Bye Lexa.”_

Her loins seemed to be alight from those simple words. It took Raven waving a hand in front of her face, before she replied.

“Bye, Clarke.”

The phone clicked, indicating the call had ended. Raven sat next to her, looking smug at how smitten Lexa seemed.

“A date already?” she teased.

“It’s not a date.” insisted Lexa.

Her phone then vibrated with a text.

 

**555-965-3957 (3:29pm):**

**Save my number as “Clarke ;)”**

“You were saying?” Raven asked, after reading the over her shoulder.

Then two more texts came in quick succession saying,

 

**555-965-3957 (3:30pm):**

**Dammit, you made it all sticky and wet now.**

**555-965-3957 (3:30pm):**

**The phone, I mean. ;)**

 

Lexa turned almost bright red. What had she gotten herself into.


	3. Chapter 3

Body as straight as an arrow, weight entirely supported on her forearms and toes, Lexa finished up the second minute of her plank. There was no evidence that she was just finishing a rigorous workout besides a light sheen of sweat on her forehead. Her green eyes were closed and she was using this moment to meditate and calm her breathing.

“Lex, come _on_!” Raven exclaimed while she sat cross-legged on the gym floor.

Lexa sighed as her calm flew right out the window along with Raven’s patience.

“All the hot people have already left! What reason could you possibly have to make your work out take two hours today?”

“It was only an hour and a half, don’t be melodramatic.” Lexa stated calmly as the timer on her phone showed only a few more seconds left on her plank.

“Oh, ‘only an hour and a half’? Well, excuse the hell out of me, I can’t believe I exaggerated so much.” Lexa let her body relax as the timer went off. Raven moved in front of her as Lexa started stretching out her muscles, showing off the glare she was sporting. “You’ve been the hottest person here for the last thirty minutes! What the hell am I supposed to look at to entertain myself?”  

Lexa rolled her eyes, but kept silent as she took deep breaths to steady her heartrate. A lightbulb looked like it went off in Raven’s head.

“ _Ooh._ I get it. It’s ‘cause you’re seeing Clarke today, isn’t it? You wanted to look good for her, huh?” Raven prodded, smirking.

Lexa turned a light shade of pink as she grabbed her towel and wiped the basically nonexistent sweat from her forehead.

“Both you and I know that’s not how exercise works.”

“Hmph, well it didn’t stop you from adding more reps to each set and adding more ab exercises to your routine.”

Lexa didn’t respond as she had picked up her water bottle and was walking away from the little secluded area of the gym.

“Or maybe you’re just trying to work out the sexual frustration? I mean, how often is it that you find a smoking hot chick that is so obviously into you?” Lexa turned a darker shade of pink and in turn, Raven smirked. “God, you are such a dork. You really have no idea how to handle this, do you?”

After Lexa left the gym, she placed her headset in right ear. She started heading towards the gym’s parking garage. She had a car, but she preferred the bus due to the sheer amount of traffic that she refused to contribute to. Besides, the parking garage near her work cost an arm and a leg to park. Never mind that she could afford it, it was wasteful.

“I’m handling it just fine, thank you.” Lexa smiled at someone passing by who gave her a questioning look. They returned it with a tight lipped half-smile. She got used to giving a smile to strangers who saw her talking to ‘herself’. It made her seem much less threatening and more in touch with reality. She continued after they were out of hearing distance, “For your information, I just felt like I didn’t get a very good workout yesterday morning.”

She got into her Audi R8 coupe and closed the door. She leaned over to open the other door for Raven, as she couldn’t open the door nor could she pass through it. Raven slid in and Lexa closed it behind her.

“Yeah, sure. Running 5 miles is such a terrible workout.” Raven rolled her eyes as dramatically as a spirit could.

Lexa started up the car, and Raven’s eyes shined as the engine roared to life, making her completely forget the topic. The car was way too boastful for Lexa’s taste. However, Raven loved it. Though, Lexa didn’t buy it for her. She bought it for two reasons, both of them surrounding Costia’s death. The first reason was that Costia crashed while driving her sedan to her job. Sedans now give Lexa a bad taste in her mouth. Secondly, Costia loved flashy sports cars. She was always imagining their future together, big house, no kids, two (or more, her words) sports cars. The expensive type, she would say. Lexa’s heart grew heavy as she drove off thinking about Costia dying before she started making real money doing her job, the kind that you _could_ afford luxury sports cars with.

 

Clad in only a towel after her shower, she checked her phone. It was pretty early when she worked out, so she hadn’t texted Clarke. Not knowing how late she slept in, Lexa waited for Clarke to initiate the conversation.

“Just text her if you want to talk to her.” Raven said, annoyed.

Still holding the phone in her hand, she replied, “No. What if I wake her?”

“It’s almost 10 o’clock. Even if she’s still asleep, I’m sure she won’t blame you for texting her.”

Lexa made a thoughtful sound, considering this.

Raven attempted to push her over the edge. “Besides she didn’t even give you the address to this place, or the time she wants you to be there. How are you supposed to plan for it with the traffic?” she said, sneakily appealing to Lexa’s need to schedule everything.

“Okay, I guess you’re right. I could ask for the address, that’s not weird.”

She quickly started to type out a message. Raven almost laughed at her eagerness, but held it in.

**Lexa (9:52am):**

**Hello, Clarke. Yesterday, you forgot to give me the address to the art gallery where your work was being displayed. Could you forward that to me at your earliest convenience so I can plan accordingly?**

Lexa flipped over her phone to show Raven her text, a bashful but proud smile on her face. It dropped however when the other girl burst out laughing. Raven, noticing this, immediately stifled her laughter to ease her mind.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Lex,” she apologized sincerely. Raven looked like she wanted to hug her. “It’s just… you’re so damn formal it’s like you’re texting your boss.”

Lexa sighed miserably and plopped down onto the bed.

“Aw, it’s okay,” she tried to reassure her. “That text was way too formal, but you’re getting there. Just… Next time, let me proofread your text before you send it.” She smiled softly, trying to uplift her spirit.

“Yeah, okay.” Lexa grumbled. However, her mood changed when her phone vibrated back a couple minutes later.

**Clarke :) (10:06am):**

**Why, yes I can forward that to you. The event is at 243 E Williams St downtown. The event starts at noon and ends at 6pm. Feel free to stop by at your convenience. I do hope to hear from you again soon, Lexa.**

Lexa smiled and turned red at her matching formal tone. Raven observed her with a sincere smile. Maybe it was a little ridiculous to send a message like that, but it had just came naturally for Lexa. The rest of this, all of _this_ , didn’t come so naturally. There was nothing natural or normal about this situation for Lexa. Another text came in shortly after.

**Clarke :) (10:07am):**

**was that formal sounding? lol I’m not very good at that kind of stuff. you really are a business woman huh ;)**

“What do I say?” asked Lexa, practically pushing her phone in Raven’s face.

Raven laughed at the resigned young woman actually like an excited child, and squinted at it reflectively.

“Well, I’m not going to tell you exactly what to say. But you should definitely drop the formal stuff. Flirt back a little. You can use emojis or even just laugh in your texts. Your texts have no emotion.”

“Okay, something like this?” she asked, then typed out a message.

Raven chuckled. “That’s,” She paused, trying to think of a word. “Better. I don’t want you to put on a front of someone you’re not, so go ahead and send it.”

Lexa gave a satisfied smile. “Okay, sent.”

**Lexa (10:11am):**

**Ha, I’m sorry. I am used to sending work emails. Not so used to sending texts to girls. Thank you for the address. I will be attending. You should be expecting me around 1:30pm.**

Lexa stared at the text, rereading it. Then a look of realization came across her face. How idiotic it sounds for her to say that she doesn’t converse with girls; that her only conversations consist of sending work emails to males in the business. Before Raven could stop her, she sent out another text.

**Lexa (10:12am):**

**Oh, sorry, in my last message I meant to say pretty girls, not just girls in general. I do sometimes email female colleagues for work.**

Raven read the message at looked at her, with a look that was a mixture of being horrified and impressed.

“Well, if that’s not the dorkiest, smoothest thing I’ve ever seen. Maybe there is hope for you yet, young grasshopper. Never thought I’d see the day that,” She paused to put on a theatrical voice, “Alexandria Woods, future CEO of Grounder Productions, would flirt with a girl.”

Lexa made a face of disgust with a contradicting smile on her face.

“I hate that name. Also, I am definitely not getting that position after Finn completely ruined my chance at it.”

Raven snorted. “Puh-leeze. That kiss-ass isn’t going to get a promotion any time soon. Anyone could see through his dumb act. And anyways, you were born to lead! You’re the kind of person that I could totally see being a Commander of a tribe or something in another life.”

This time, Lexa laughed. “Right,” she replied sarcastically. “How absurd. Could you even imagine a young woman leading a whole tribe?”

Raven laughed too, conceding that she was right. Then a text came in from Clarke.

**Clarke :) (10:15am):**

**lol that’s pretty sweet. I’m so honored to be the first attractive girl that you’ve ever texted ;)**

Lexa groaned, realizing how dumb she sounded in the previous text.

Raven guffawed. “Don’t dwell on it too long. We’ve got to get you ready.”

Lexa grumbled, glancing at the time, “Lunch first though. I have a feeling this is going to take a while.”

“It sure is. Eat up.”

**_Nearly 3 long hours later…_ **

“Do I really have to wear this?” Lexa protested.

Raven had chosen for her a white long sleeve dress shirt that had two top buttons undone, over it was a black form fitting suit vest that had a deep V that buttoned just a few inches below her chest, and for pants she was wearing casual and tight khaki slacks. Her shoes were black plain but sensible heels. She tugged at the sleeves of her shirt self-consciously.

“Yes! That fits your body perfectly. Makes your ass look great too. She’s going to be drooling, trust me. If I had a non-spirit uterus, it would totally go into baby making mode after seeing you.”

Lexa choked, “W-what does that even mean? That’s not how uteruses work. At all. And I don’t even have a penis, so how would that even be useful?” Raven laughed heartily. “Also, stop being gross. We both know even if you were still living, we aren’t each other’s types.”

Raven didn’t deny that. “Doesn’t matter, let’s hurry up and go. We both know you want to be 10 minutes early to a time that isn’t even set in stone.”

Lexa glared, but started gathering things quickly.

Lexa’s trusty headset was put in her ear while walking from the parking garage that was a five minute trip from the gallery. Raven trailed closely behind.

Half-way through the walk, Lexa heard two people arguing boisterously across the street. Curious, she observed them. It was two males about the same height, motioning and yelling in each other’s faces. The strange thing was that everyone passing by seemed to pay no mind to them. Well, it _was_ downtown L.A., but still a side glance or two would be normal.

She stopped walking to look at the situation more carefully. It was then that she noticed that behind one of the guys, sitting with his back against the entrance of the shop, was a homeless man with his hands placed firmly against his ears. After that, everything made sense. She felt bad for the guy. She hated seeing other spiritual schizophrenics on the streets, unable to hold down a job because of their spirits.

Lexa was paying so much attention to the guy, that she didn’t even notice that the males had stopped arguing.

“Lexa,” Raven said with a whispered urgency. “Let’s move on.”

The two males were both looking directly at her from across the street. They weren’t pleased in the slightest, both their eyebrows scrunched together and their glares intense. Lexa took heed to Raven’s advice and took off briskly with her head down. She heard one call after her, but she knew better than to answer.

Finally, she approached the art gallery where Clarke’s art was displayed. It was a small little building, not in the best condition, but it was donned with oddly beautiful graffiti that looked like it was meant to be there. The sign above the building said ‘The Ark’ in what looked like crafted scrap metal pieces.  

She glanced through the window, and was surprised to see it had a decent amount of people in there, looking at the different pieces. She didn’t see Clarke yet through the bodies. So, she took a deep breath and prepared herself to enter.

“Don’t be so nervous. You’ve aced work presentations in front of the most powerful people in the industry. You can handle one girl.” Raven said cheerfully.

Lexa let out a huff of air, nodded and pushed through the glass door. And suddenly, she was surrounded by colors of all sorts, nearly every space of the walls were covered in paintings. All different types, from oil-based to watercolor and everything in between. Lexa stuffed her hands in her pockets, and started walking through the gallery looking at the different styles and types of paintings. They were all so different than the modern art she was used to seeing.

“Wow,” Raven said quietly. “They’re beautiful.”

Lexa nodded in agreement, awe-struck.

After strolling through the gallery a bit, Lexa finally spotted her and her breath left her instantly. She was wearing a white floral sundress and her hair was curled in waves. She was smiling brightly one of the patrons, whom Lexa assumed was complimenting the works. Clarke just stood out; she was so bright, she practically glowed and she was easily the most attractive person in the gallery. Although, Lexa may be a little biased.

Clarke’s eyes drifted in the middle of the tall man in the suit’s conversation, and caught her own. Lexa thought she had no more breath to lose, but she was wrong. Her smile got even bigger when she spotted Lexa then she mumbled something quickly to the guy. Lexa, panicking, quickly turned and faced the painting to her right, acting like she had been appraising it instead of the blonde girl.

“Heads up, she’s coming this way.” Raven warned.

“Hey!” Clarke said sunnily when she reached her.

Lexa turned to face her and gave her a small smile.

“Hello.”

The other girl gave her an appreciative look up and down.

“You look great.” she said matter-of-factly.

Lexa’s cheeks grew warm. “Thanks, you do too.”

Clarke smiled, biting her bottom lip, then turned to the painting. Lexa followed suit.

“So, what do you think?”

Lexa paused for thought. “Hm, I’m no art expert, but I think being able to draw a person’s profile entirely in charcoal is talented and it’s a beautiful piece.”

Clarke giggled. It sounded like a melody specifically crafted to increase the tempo of Lexa’s heart.

“I meant about The Ark, but I’m sure the artist would appreciate the compliments.”

Lexa flushed. “Oh, the gallery is great. I love all the different art styles. Are these all local artists?”

Clarke nodded. “I actually wanted to show you the project I finished yesterday, if you’re interested.”

“I’d love that.”

“Me too,” Raven said. “I hope it’s some kind of nude painting.”

Lexa resisted the urge to glare at the girl next to her as she followed Clarke to the back of the gallery. Clarke stopped in front of this large painting. Lexa was mesmerized by it.

It was a painting of eyes, just eyes, bright but haunted glassy green eyes surrounding by what looked like to be running black make up? There was so much emotion and detail in those two eyes that she almost forgot to breathe.

“It’s…” She let out a breath. “It’s amazing. You did this?”

“Yeah,” Clarke said smiling. “It took almost all day yesterday.”

“Is she crying?” Lexa asked curiously because of the glassy effect to the eyes and the running make up.

“No,” Clarke said softly. She explained proudly, “The make-up is war paint. The eyes are just meant to make you feel all the emotion she’s felt through her life. Anger, fear, sadness, happiness, pride. I didn’t paint the rest of the face, but it would be solid, powerful, and unyielding. The paint smears for the tears she doesn’t shed, the ones she’s lost, and the ones she needs to stay strong for.”

“Wow.” was all Lexa could say, entranced by the painting and its story.

Raven spoke up but quietly, “Y-you realize those are your eyes, right?”

Lexa glanced at her, eyes wide, before glancing at Clarke in shock. She noticed the other girl’s cheeks were slightly pink.

“Is that-” she started to ask, but was interrupted.

“It was inspired by you, yes. I told you. Your eyes hold stories, I wanted you to see that.”

Lexa gaped. “What if I had declined your offer yesterday?”

Clarke beamed. “It would still be put on display. It would be a shame not to show the world the stories in those eyes.”

“Lexa, invite her over tomorrow for dinner. You don’t have work. And it’d be a shame for her not to taste your cooking.”

Lexa wanted to argue, to bring up the fact that Raven had no idea what her cooking tasted like, that inviting a stranger over to her apartment was a bad idea, but she wanted to get to know Clarke more.

“Clarke?” Lexa started.

The other girl looked at her with a smile that could (or did) melt her heart.

“Yes?”

“Would you like to come to my place tomorrow? I’ll cook.”

Blue eyes widened and the smile dropped from the blonde’s face. It alarmed Lexa and caused her to immediately clarify.

“I mean, just to thank you. For the— you know, the painting? I don’t mean anything weird by it. I just meant for food. As a thank you.”

Clarke’s shocked expression broke into a smile.

“I’m sorry! I was just surprised. I never thought you’d be the type to invite me back to your place.” Lexa turned bright red. Answering the question, Clarke said, “Of course, I would love to.”

“I-I didn’t mean it like that. I’m not going to try anything, don’t worry.”

Clarke’s sweet smile twisted into a flirtatious smirk.

“Oh, I wasn’t worried at all. Thought you dressed in that outfit specifically to convince me to come back to your place. Kind of disappointed to hear otherwise.”

“I told you she’d love it!” Raven said excitedly.

Lexa said nothing, just glued her eyes on the painting and willed her cheeks to turn back to their normal shade.

“Well, I’ve got to go say hello to a couple of friends. Thank you for stopping by.”

Lexa turned her head to her and smiled. “It was no problem. I enjoyed your gallery.”

Clarke beamed at that, then waved a tiny goodbye as she wandered off to go greet other people.

Excitement was pouring out of Lexa so much so that she could barely conceal her smile. Raven looked at her curiously, and smiled herself.

“I’m proud of you, Lex.”

“Thanks for the advice, Raven.” Lexa replied quietly as not to draw attention to herself.

Lexa ended up staying there suspiciously close to the end of the event until she tore herself away from watching Clarke’s interactions and the short flirtatious glances and smirks that were thrown her way every time she was caught staring. Lexa could barely wait until tomorrow. She was anxious and excited all at the same time. With the help of Raven, she finally put herself back out there again. After 7 years. And it was so worth every moment of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter should justify the explicit rating ;)  
> Your comments are so appreciated by the way! thank you guys so much for your support, I will try to reply to every comment i get!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke comes over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the terribly long time since I've updated. I'll explain more in the end notes. Here's an extra long chapter for you guys! Also for anyone following Breaking the Resolve, I'm updating that next.  
> PS: This chapter is dedicated to my beautifully gay wife for supporting my writing!

“What was I thinking? Oh my God, _what_ was I thinking?” Lexa yelled out as she paced around her house. She wielded a duster, attempting to get rid of any speck of dust even though dust had long known better than to make itself home in her apartment. So, Lexa was panicking. That wasn’t a big surprise or anything.

Raven just leaned against the back of the couch, watching with a bored expression on her face as Lexa race about from place to place at impressive speeds. If Raven didn’t know better, she would’ve thought that the other girl was on speed.

“How could I let you talk me into this?” Lexa was shouting from the other room, though her voice was still easily heard. Although the question seemed directed at Raven, she knew Lexa was mostly talking to herself. Her voice was then projected to Raven, still from the other room, “ _Why_ did you talk me into this?”

Raven sighed before responding only slightly louder than normal, “Because you needed this.”

Lexa poked her head out from the bedroom. “What?”

The spirit just fixed her with a pointed stare, lifting her eyebrow. She wasn’t going to repeat herself. Lexa realized she had heard her words, though they were quiet and once her mind caught up with what she said, she walked out into the living room to speak with Raven.

“I don’t need this. I’ve been perfectly fine the way I’ve been living—” Lexa paused, screwed up her face realizing how that last bit sounded, then corrected herself, “We’ve been living.”

“No, you had it right. The way _you’ve_ been living,” Raven said matter-of-factly, not hurt by Lexa’s slip of the tongue. She then crossed her arms. “And I don’t know if you can call what you’ve been doing living _._ ”

Exasperated, Lexa said, “ _What?_ ”

“I mean, sure. We definitely don’t visit psych wards anymore. And sure, you climbed all the way to the top of the company. And you maybe even figured out cooking with my help.” Lexa gave her a small glare at that. “But, what’s the point? I mean, what do you even do for fun? What pleasure do you get out of barely living?”

With a small voice, Lexa replied, “I like my work. And I work out, I read. I-I do things. I got a friend, a really great friend, to hang out with even when I stay home, so why would I need to go out anywhere?” Raven gave her a sad smile. “Not to mention, I’ve gotten stronger, tougher, better than I ever was. I’m a great leader now, people look up to me. I’m not— It’s not like this is all for nothing.”

For being a spirit, Raven’s eyes sure could show a whole range of emotions. Right now, sympathy was gleaming in them. She walked forward and placed a comforting hand on Lexa’s shoulder. She couldn’t feel it, but it was soothing nonetheless.

“Hon, I know. I’m not saying that. I’m saying everything you do is for others and it’s about time you pursue some pleasures in life of your own.” A sincere smile spread across Raven’s face. “The way you act towards Clarke, I’ve never seen that side of you before. You’ve always been pretty cold towards others. You give orders, you work tirelessly, you earn respect easily, but you’ve never show that many emotions to anyone.”

Lexa muttered under her breath, “That’s because you never saw me with Costia.” She was staring at the ground, feeling nostalgic about the person she used to be, before shaking herself out of her memories. She spoke in a louder, more firm tone, with her chin square, “That’s because putting your emotions on display is a sign of weakness. And a good leader never shows weakness.”

Lexa walked away from her before she could respond and continued tidying up the already immaculate apartment. Raven just shook her head.

She took in a deep breath before shouting after her, “Yeah, don’t mind me! Just a ghost giving you a lecture on how to live! Probably don’t even know what I’m talking about!”

Lexa could hear her chuckle at the ridiculousness of the situation and she too found herself with a smile on her face. She wasn’t sure about trusting Clarke or letting herself open up, or even if she knew how to open up anymore, but she did want to at least try and see where this went. Even if nothing developed out of this, she’d at least have some company of someone different. And her nether regions seemed to come alive after meeting this intriguing girl. After all this time of ignoring the complaints of her body, her body had settled for only satisfying it only on rare occasions. But after seeing Clarke, that ridiculously sensual girl, her body would settle no longer and demanded some attention.

Suddenly, Lexa perked up from smoothing wrinkles out of her bedspread (Why was she worrying about her bedroom?) and her eyes widened. She had no idea what to cook tonight, or if Clarke had any allergies.

“Raven, come here!” she yelled to the other room.

“I’m already here.” Raven’s voice came from right behind her, making Lexa start.

“Damn it, I forgot you don’t make any noise when you walk.”

Laughing, Raven asked, “What did you need?”

“I need to text Clarke, ask her what she wants, if she has any allergies or anything.”

“And?”

“I need your help.” Lexa stated, as if it was obvious.

“You’ll be fine, just type something out and I’ll, um, proofread it or something.”

“Okay.” Lexa said, contemplating what she was going to say. She then typed it out and showed it to Raven.

Raven moved her head from side to side, thinking about it while seemingly gnawing on her thumb.

“I mean, yeah, that sounds good.”

Lexa smiled. “Okay then. There, sent.”

**Lexa (2:43pm):**

**Hey Clarke, I was wondering, do you have any food allergies?**

A text came in almost immediately.

**Clarke :) (2:44pm):**

**nope! I do hate mushrooms but that’s not really an allergy lol**

Lexa had a big grin on her face after reading that. She sat down on her bed and begin to reply.

**Lexa (2:45pm):**

**You know, mushrooms are really good for you. They have a bunch of antioxidants and they boost your immune system.**

**Lexa (2:45pm):**

**Oh, and they contain vitamin D.**

**Clarke :) (2:46pm):**

**is that right? lol**

**Clarke :) (2:46pm):**

**well they’re still gross**

Raven watched from a distance with one eyebrow raised and a smile on her face while Lexa shook her head at her phone, a big grin planted on her face.

**Lexa (2:47pm):**

**Tsk, tsk.**

Realizing there were a bunch of different things she could make, Lexa sent another text.

**Lexa (2:47pm):**

**Do you have any preference for food?**

**Clarke :) (2:48pm):**

**nah I’m not too picky lol**

**Clarke :) (2:48pm):**

**though I am a fatty and I love my pasta dishes**

Lexa’s smile grew, and she resisted the strong urge to tell Clarke that she was anything but fat and her curves were absolutely hypnotic.

**Lexa (2:49pm):**

**Understood. A pasta dish it shall be then.**

**Clarke :) (2:50pm):**

**awesome! see you in like two hours then**

**Lexa (2:50pm):**

**See you then, Clarke.**

Not liking how the tone of her texts sounded, she quickly typed out another and sent it.

**Lexa (2:51pm):**

**:)**

Satisfied with her response, she slipped her phone in her sweatpants and practically ran off to the kitchen. Meanwhile, Raven stood with arms crossed, and an eyebrow lifted. She was making a mental countdown in her head. Then from the other room,

“Raven!”

The spirit rolled her eyes with a smile as she followed her to the kitchen. Lexa refused to attempt to cook without her. Without an extra set of eyes, she was more likely to end up burning something.

“I was thinking about making the Kale Penne and Cheese I like so much, what do you think?”

Raven made a face, sticking out her tongue.

“I’m not even alive and that sounds way too healthy and gross for me to eat.”

Lexa sighed before responding, “It’s not even that healthy, it has a bunch of cheese, not to mention the carbs. And it tastes very good. It’s one of my favorite pasta dishes. Well, that I can make.”

Raven shrugged her shoulders. “You’re the one with the taste buds.” Softening her voice, she said, “Make whatever you feel most comfortable with, I’m sure she’ll like it.”

When she saw Lexa open the fridge door, Raven spoke up.

“Hey! Wait! Don’t start it now.”

Lexa threw a confused look over her shoulder.

“God, Lexa, get your head in the game. It’s almost two hours before she said she’d be here. The food will definitely be cold before then.”

Green eyes widened at that. She was completely thrown off her game. Scheduling things and managing time were the main part of her life. Her expertise. And yet here she was, running around like a chicken with her head cut off and trying to prepare things all out of order.

She closed the fridge door and pressed her palms to her face, taking a deep breath to reset her mind. After a few seconds, she dropped her hands.

“Okay, so, getting dressed?”

An amused smile appeared on Raven’s face as she nodded in agreement. Lexa then strode to the bedroom, Raven trailing closely as not to be left behind again. Slender hands opened the closet as a deep breath was inhaled. A look of despair soon came over Lexa’s face as she peered inside.

Raven shook her head knowingly with a smile on her face.

“Dress shirt. With black slacks. Oh, and make sure the shirt has a V cut.”

Lexa nodded slowly, contemplating which outfit would fit that description. She found a black top that would cling tight to her and that had a V cut, even if it was a bit low for her tastes. Then she went with black slacks that had white stripes vertically on them. She showed the outfit to Raven, who then nodded her approval.

Lexa carefully placed the outfit on the bed then hopped in the shower. She tried to take a quick one, but the hot water was very inviting, and so she ended up staying in a bit longer than planned. Raven was humming some tune obnoxiously loud while on the bathroom floor, Lexa chose to ignore that. After she got out, she did her hair, twisting the ends slightly. The nervous girl was going to put her hair down, but she became insecure and decided to put it up in a neat ponytail.

Although Lexa wasn’t particularly expecting anything to happen, she ended up picking out some lacy underwear. Or rather her only pair of lacy underwear. It could never hurt to be prepared, after all.

Afterwards, she put on the outfit she selected and did a little twirl for Raven.

“Good shit,” laughed Raven. “You look great, Lex. She won’t be able to take her eyes off you.”

A grin spread across Lexa’s face at her words, and she actually felt her cheeks get warm. She sure hoped so.

She walked into the kitchen to start cooking. The process went by quickly, though that was mostly due to Lexa’s perception of time. In reality, it was about 30 minutes for the prep. It consisted of her dashing around the kitchen, trying to clean up while she cooked. Which, of course, led to Raven yelling at her on multiple occasions to prevent her from burning things. Okay, so maybe the spirit did help her out with cooking more than she’d like to admit.

Finally, the timer dinged, indicating that the pasta was done. She pulled the oven door open and went to reach for it when—

“Fuck, Lexa! Don’t!” screamed Raven.

Lexa jerked her hands back right before they were about to touch the pan. Her _bare_ hands. Damn it. She shakily sunk her hand into the hair near her temple. She let out a sigh and then grabbed the oven mitts from the drawer.

“Damn Lex, you gotta be more careful. The hell were you thinking?”

The brunette repeated her precious actions, this time with protection covering her hands. She shook her head as she placed the pan on the stovetop.

“…I guess I’ve been a little distracted, or nervous.” said Lexa.

“Don’t be nervous, you’ll be fine. I mean, you’re pretty alright and I’m really awesome. So, if you ever panic, I’ll steer you in the right direction.” Raven said, attempting to be reassuring.

Lexa gave her a look over the shoulder, half smile, half glaring.

“Thanks?”

She then proceeded to set up the dining table. She put plates out, along with silverware and wine glasses. A chilled bottle of mildly expensive red wine was placed in the middle of the table along with the pan of food. She stood back, looked at the table, then decided she should place her candelabra in the middle of the table and light some candles (she had quite a collection of candles). Afterwards, she stood smiling at the table. It looked very organized, like something you would see in an advertisement.  

A glance was shot towards the time. It was 5 o’clock on the dot. Her face set into a deep frown. She was sure that when Clarke said ‘in a couple of hours’, she had meant five. Maybe she got the time wrong. That would be undesirable because then the food would get cold. Even worse than that, maybe Clarke decided she didn’t want to come afterwards.

Raven seemed to sense these thoughts because she said, “Don’t worry. I’m sure she just doesn’t feel the insane urge to be everywhere way too early like you do.”

Lexa gave a smile and slid her hands over her outfit nervously, hoping she didn’t have any wrinkles. Just as she was really starting to panic, the doorbell buzzed. Her heart leaped in her chest. A quick stride had her at the door in a matter of seconds. The door was yanked open enthusiastically and then breath promptly escaped Lexa as if she had just been plunged underwater.

Clarke was quite literally breath-taking. She was wearing an off the shoulder white dress top with a lilac skirt. Her hair was down and straight and it framed her face. Lexa’s heart was pounding a beat that she thought it had long forgotten.

“You’re practically drooling, say something.” said Raven from beside her.

“Oh, hello.” Lexa said finally.

“Hi.” Clarke had a dazzling smile on her face.

“Come in.” Lexa gestured towards the inside of her place.

Clarke started walking in and Lexa immediately realized her mistake. Her eyes widened and her hand tightened on the doorknob. Though she was unable to say anything about it, Clarke was about to walk through Raven.

Raven started backing up, realizing the same thing, and started, “N-no, wait! F-” But it was too late, and the spirit disappeared.

Lexa was never sure why this was, but Raven couldn’t exist in the same place as something else. She could be on top of things, but never in the same space as other things. If this happened, Raven would disappear, and reappear next to Lexa. The disappearing wasn’t quite like fading, but more like she was there and then Lexa blinked and she was gone. It probably doesn’t sound like that much of a problem, but apparently it gives Raven this really creepy sensation that she would ‘never like to feel again in her life’. Oh, and the spirit always reappeared cussing.

“Mother—” screamed Raven from her side. “Why the fuck would she just walk through me like that? Jesus.”

Lexa wiggled her finger in her ear inconspicuously to get rid of the ringing while she shut the door. One of these days she was going to have a real awkward time of explaining how she got a busted eardrum to a doctor. She shot her a side glare, warning Raven not to speak bad of Clarke.

“Don’t look at me like that. If you had someone walk through you, punching the person who did it would be first on your mind too.” said the angry girl as Lexa walked Clarke to the dining table.

Lexa ignored her and served the food onto plates for Clarke and herself.

“Would you like some wine?” asked Lexa.

“Of course you drink expensive red wine,” Clarke chuckled. “Sure. I’m more of a beer drinker myself, but I indulge myself in some wine when I want to spoil myself.”

Lexa’s nose scrunched up. Her wine wasn’t really _that_ expensive and Clarke prefers beer? Really? She finished pouring the wine and sat down in her chair across from the blond girl. She eyed the girl as she stared down at her food curiously.

“It’s kale penne and cheese, in case you were wondering.”

Clarke just laughed in response, which led Lexa to quirk her eyebrow at her.

“Oh, sorry. It’s just- How did I know you’d make the pasta dish healthy somehow?”

“See! I told you Lex!” Raven interjected unnecessarily.

A quick glare was shot in the spirit’s direction that had a clear meaning.

“Fine, fine. I’ll go sit on the couch. But don’t go crying for my help.” grumbled Raven.

Not wanting to explain to Clarke as she did to Raven earlier that the dish wasn’t really healthy by any means, she just shrugged her shoulders.

“Just try it.”

Clarke smiled at her, practically stopping Lexa’s heart, and took a cautious bite.

“Mmm,” moaned Clarke. “Wow, that is good. I’ve never had anything quite like it. But it’s really good!”

Sparks spread through Lexa’s body all the way to her fingertips and toes at the sound that Clarke made. Insecure about the warmth between her legs, Lexa crossed them. She glanced down at her food as she said quietly, “Thank you.”

A few bites and sips of wine had been taken between the two of them before Clarke spoke up.

“So, tell me about yourself.”

Lexa looked across at her, tilting her head slightly and raising her eyebrow.

“What do you want to know?”

“Well, tell me about your family.”

Lexa set her fork down for a second.

“Hmm, well I was raised in foster care. I don’t know of any blood relatives.”

Clarke paled considerably.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know…”

“No need to be sorry. I had a family, two other people that were in foster care with me. We ended up in a group home until we hit 18 together. They were like my siblings, Anya and Lincoln. They taught me how to survive, real world stuff. I’m glad I was raised through the system because I never would’ve met them.”

Lexa got up  to refill their glasses with wine, not wanting to see a pitying expression on Clarke’s face. Her face grew warm as she felt sparkling blue eyes following her form. A voice spoke when she sat down.

“I was raised by my mom. No siblings, though. Um, my dad died when I was pretty young.” Clarke paused thoughtfully. “Oh, and my mom’s a doctor.”

Lexa nodded politely. “Okay, that makes sense.”

Clarke’s eyebrows scrunched together. “What does?”

“That your mom’s a doctor.”

“Why?” Clarke said, eyeing her as she took a bite of food.

“I was wondering how you owned your own gallery at such a young age, but it makes sense now.”

Clarke’s confused face turned into a scowl as she chewed her food slowly. She swallowed before replying in a calm voice that was a juxtaposition to her expression. “I bought and paid for the gallery myself, if that’s what you’re implying.”

Green eyes grew larger. “Oh, I didn’t mean to assume- I just thought maybe she had paid for it to support you.”

Clarke looked to the side before grabbing her glass by the stem, taking big gulps, then looked at Lexa with a solemn stare.

“My mom has never supported me in my career as an artist. Everything I have, including The Ark, I built from the ground up.”

Lexa gulped. Her throat was suddenly dry.

“Dude, you suck at this!” yelled Raven from the living room.

“I’m sorry, I-” she paused, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath to collect herself. “It was wrong of me to presume that you didn’t work hard for what you have. I apologize.”

Clarke nodded, sipping from her glass that was now surprisingly almost empty.

“It’s okay… It happens a lot, people assuming that my mom bought everything for me ‘cause she makes a lot of money.”

“I know better now. You’re the type of person to work for everything you have. I respect that. I am too.” Realizing that both of their plates were near empty, Lexa got up. “Are you done?” She gestured to the plate.

Clarke nodded. “Thank you, it was really delicious.”

Lexa smiled and took the plates to the sink. When she came back into the dining room, she noticed Clarke had moved to the couch and was bouncing slightly on it. Realizing she had been caught, she grinned mischievously at Lexa. Raven was now in a seat at the dining table, eyebrows raised at Lexa.

“Sorry I just had to see if this _luxurious_ couch was as comfortable as it looked.”

A small laugh crept from Lexa’s throat. She took the two glasses from the dining table, refilled them and brought them over to the couch. One was handed to Clarke.

“Here you go. Is it?”

“Oh yeah. It’s amazingly comfortable. I thought expensive furniture would probably be uncomfortable. You know, aesthetic over functionality,” laughed Clarke. “Thank you.” She grabbed the glass from Lexa and promptly took a sip.

Lexa placed herself next to Clarke, not too close, but close enough to smell her sweet perfume wafting from her. Like cream and strawberries. Maybe it was her shampoo. Either way, the smell was not helping her avoid being turned on.

Clarke pivoted her body and tucked her feet under her legs. She smiled and waited for Lexa to do the same, which the latter girl obliged without question.

“You know,” Clarke paused to take a gulp of wine. Lexa vaguely wonders if she should stop refilling her glass so quickly. “I never thought you’d ask me out.”

Lexa choked on the wine she had been sipping and nearly spits it on herself. Ask her out? Raven’s distant laughter only barely registers in her mind. Was this considered a date?

Clarke continued despite this, “The way you were acting when I came to sit by you almost made me think you were straight.” A breathy laugh escaped Clarke. “But then the way you were staring at me when I was drawing, I thought… ‘There is no way.’”

Lexa’s cheeks warmed up all the way to her ears. Was she staring that bad?

“Let me guess the real reason you acted the way you did,” Another sip of wine. Clarke then lifted her hand up to her chin and gave off a playfully thoughtful vibe. “It’s been a while since you’ve dated anyone.” She quirked an eyebrow as if to say, ‘Am I right?’.

Lexa took a composing breath and could almost physically feel her walls falling back in place. When did she even let her guard down? A stoic expression fell over her face as she slowly swiveled her body, both to avoid eye contact and to calmly place her glass on the coffee table.

“Don’t act like you know me, Clarke,” she said with a quivering calmness. She turned her head quickly, a flaming of anger replacing the lust in her stomach. She was nearly shocked out of her anger when she saw blue eyes revering her, the ever-present smile gone from her face. However, the thing that confused her the most was that that there wasn’t even a hint of anger or irritation at the cold words spoken to her. She steeled her nerves and continued, “What makes you think you know me so well?” 

Not avoiding eye contact for a second, Clarke set her glass down on the table. If Lexa wasn’t being hypnotized by the ocean of blue staring at her, she would’ve wondered how she did it without spilling a drop.

“It’s your eyes,” said Clarke softly, sounding as if she was watching Lexa being sculped right before her. “I’ve never seen so many conflicting emotions in one person’s eyes. Fear, strength, fierce determination, and yet there’s so much hurt. They’re the eyes of a warrior.”

Lexa sat up straighter almost subconsciously, tilting her body towards Clarke. When did she scoot so close? She could feel her walls tumbling back down under that beautiful gaze, could feel herself softening up immediately. Panic should’ve been coursing through her veins; she should’ve been worried that someone saw through her tough exterior so easily. Instead, lust just boiled just beneath the surface.

Coming back to the conversation, Lexa said, “They are no such thing. I’m no warrior.” She paused, recalling her past. “I’m just really good at surviving.”

Clarke’s eyes locked onto hers and froze her in place with their intensity. A cautious hand reached up and touched Lexa’s cheek, almost making her flinch.

“Maybe life should be about more than just surviving.”

Those words struck a chord within Lexa. She thought back to what Raven had said earlier. How long had it been since she let herself truly enjoy life? Green eyes flitted between the blue eyes, searching them. The electricity between them was almost tangible. Could Clarke feel it as well? It seemed like she did as the look of admiration slowly morphed into something more primal.

Lexa tried not to make her desires known. She was very intently not looking at Clarke’s lips. It was a trying test of her will. It was so difficult not to look, but she knew if she did, it would all be over. However, when the intense staring contest was broken by Clarke’s eyes shifting down to Lexa’s lips, her self-control shattered.

Lexa surged forward and placed her lips on Clarke’s. They were wonderfully soft like nothing else Lexa had ever encountered. The other girl seemed shocked as her lips were unmoving for a second, before she joined the kiss with fervor. When the other girl moved her mouth, a flood of taste invaded Lexa. It was sweet from the wine but with an underlying flavor that Lexa was willing to bet was all Clarke.

The formerly statuesque girl pressed her body forward into Clarke’s, needing to feel more of her. And she was rewarded by the indescribable feeling of the other girl’s soft chest pressing into her own smaller one. Lexa’s hand slid around the other girl’s lower back to press them together even further. In response, Clarke gasped against her mouth and Lexa hungrily took advantage of it to tease the tip of her tongue into the kiss. The other girl then wrapped her hand around Lexa’s neck.

The concealed hunger that was built from years of not having another partner seemed to grow with every second their lips were connected. Lexa was quickly losing herself and she slipped her hand under the edge of Clarke’s shirt, overcome with a need to touch the other girl. And my God, was she overwhelmed by the softness she felt there. Clarke had that just out of the shower softness to her that was astonishing.

She deepened the kiss, her tongue delving in to explore the other girl’s mouth. Her hand seemed to have a mind of its own, though, and slid upwards against the soft curve of her belly. Her fingertips brushed the edge of the other girl’s bra and forced a choked moan from Clarke, Lexa having to swallow her own. Suddenly, Clarke was pushing back from her and breaking the kiss.

Through the daze of lust, Lexa was somehow able to pry herself from the other girl. They stared, panting, at each other. Clarke’s eyes were half-lidded and her pupils were dilated. The look on her face made Lexa want to tackle her again. However, Lexa’s mind started to clear and panic set in.

She gasped out, “Fuck. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to-”

A hand being held up stopped her apology. Clarke’s other hand was rising and falling on top of her chest, over her heart.

“No, no. I—” She paused taking a deep breath and running the hand that was held up through her hair. “Don’t get me wrong. I _loved_ that. There’s nothing I want more than to have you show me your bed right now and what you can do on it.”

The blunt words sent liquid fire from Lexa’s lower belly that pulsed in her clitoris. She clenched her fists to stop herself from doing exactly what Clarke had described.

Clarke continued, “It’s just that I— I never—” There was a pause as she seemed to want to try to figure out the right words.

Did she mean? There’s no way. Lexa’s stomach dropped, and she suddenly felt sick. She wouldn’t have rushed so much if she had thought…

“Damn it. Are you saying you’ve never…? That you’re a v—” _Virgin?_ she was going to say but again, she was cut off, this time by Clarke’s laughter.

“No, no. Oh hell no. Most definitely not.” Clarke said, laughing still.

Confused couldn’t even describe Lexa’s brain right now. She quirked an eyebrow.

“Then… you never what?”

Clarke looked shy for the first time since she’s known her. Her cheeks were red and she glanced down at the couch.

“I’m bisexual.” Lexa was still confused, and her face must’ve shown it cause Clarke let out an airy laugh and ran her hand through her hair again. “I mean, I’ve had girlfriends and I’ve even kissed girls on multiple occasions. But I’ve never actually…” she trailed off.

Green eyes went wide with understanding. All of a sudden, she felt guilty for pushing Clarke so hard and practically throwing herself at her. At the same time, she was very intrigued seeing this confident force of nature so insecure about this.

“That’s alright. I apologize for being so… aggressive.”

A smirk appeared on Clarke’s face and just like that her confident demeaner was back.

“Oh, don’t be sorry. It was really hot.”

Lexa’s face became flushed at the compliment. She glanced at Clarke’s appearance and thought maybe it was a good idea to take a break for tonight. Her self-control was horribly corroded at the moment and Clarke was looking entirely too attractive for her to way to test it.

“Maybe we should get you home. It’s getting pretty late.”

A flash of disappointment came over Clarke’s face before she glanced at the living room clock.

“Oh shit. It is late. I gotta work in the morning.”

Clarke started to get up and gather her things. Lexa rose to help her grab anything she had forgotten, then walked her to the door.

“Thanks for the amazing dinner,” said Clarke, beaming. “I had a really great time.”

Lexa returned the smile.

“I am glad you liked it. I did as well. Did you need me to call you a cab?”

Clarke shook her head.

“Nah, I’ll take care of it. Don’t worry.” She leaned close and gave Lexa a lingering peck on the cheek. “Thanks for being such a gentlewoman. I’ll text you tomorrow.” She winked as she reached back and turned the knob. Then before Lexa knew it, she was gone. 

Lexa stood there dumbfounded at the door and raised a hand up to her cheek. She could practically feel the warmth radiating from it. That girl might literally be the death of her.

“Hell yeah, Lex! Awesome make out session! Most action I’ve seen in years!” said Raven, from the dining room. Even the distant shouting didn’t shake her from her daze.

Some insistent buzzing in her slacks finally took her out of the trance. Raven scoffed about being so thoroughly ignored. She quickly grabbed her phone from her pocket, thinking it was probably Clarke, and nearly dropped it in the process. It ended up not being the person she was looking forward to, but one of the few other people she cared about.

**Anya (11:33pm):**

**Hey cuz**

**Anya (11:33pm):**

**Gonna be in town soon. I can stay at your place right?**

**Anya (11:34pm):**

**C u tomorrow**

“Fuck.” said Lexa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little explanation for Lexa's sensitive side in this. When she is with Raven, she acts how she would act if she was alone. When around other people, she is more of her outward personality. So you guys will get to see a more sensitive side to her at times. Also I've had this chapter 3/4 of the way done for about a month now lol. However, I got a new job where I work 14 hour days 4 days a week and my wife and I just bought a house, so I haven't really had any time to write. I can't promise quick updates, but I do have the next chapter mapped out in my head. Thank you for your support! I'll reply to all comments as usual <3


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